RE-ATTIRING FOR “GANDHIVITIES....”
‘Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.’ .
Topped in the list of Mark Twain’s most inspirational quotes, this has always been one of my favorite quotes albeit with certain reservations, particularly with its first line. (Though this quote could not be regarded as an authentic Mark Twain quote, the words are regularly credited to his name in literary circle.)
In a couple of months from now, when I turn in my application for voluntary retirement from service, I will be looking back to see whether Iam indeed disappointed by anything I did during my last twenty years of my career. But then, I’m sure; I will not. I will look back with honor and no regrets. I may also disagree with this quote of Mark Twain for obvious reasons.
Right through my diverse armed force life, that allows me to bring multi –tasking skills into each assignment I took, I can honestly say that I contributed to something bigger than myself. All through these years, my job in uniform demands from me not only the nerve- wrenching mental alertness but also the highest level of physical fitness which only the young and agile people could cope with. It’s because of this do I mean to say that I have got reservations with the first line of the aforesaid quote. Though my limited ability simply doesn’t allow me to do so, but I may, with extreme humility, like to re phrase the line like this; ....
” Twenty years from now, except those who are in jobs that require extreme physical fitness, something that young people are especially equipped for, will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
This may include the elite armed force members, the athletes or may be few more. Mark Twain was a story teller who wrote during the late 19th century, in an era where there were more intellectuals than athletes or commandos. So while writing this, the writer might not have been conscious of this fact, the physical aspect. Then again I have my share of apprehensions as well about the word ‘disappointed’ for the reason that no one can fulfill his desires, nor can any creature in the face of this planet satisfy one’s craving in their entire life.
After me saying all these things, in no way do I mean to say that my job was full of fun and excitement. Though it definitely changed me for the better and I ‘am proud for that, it wasn’t always easy for me, nor was it fun, but it was always interesting. It was an experience that an average civilian will never know or understand. It is hard to relate it to anything or anyone who has not experienced this life. It’s all about merit, sheer physical fitness, hard work and being part of an establishment.
I spent my prime of youth serving my country and putting my life in the line of fire, in a unique way which many could not even understand. Working in the Special Protection Group for almost eleven years and that too in the most coveted Close Protection Teams, I can say that the job was too rigorous and demanding that I wondered if I could accomplish anything of that kind now at this age. My few other tough tenures in CRPF, be it the Anti-terrorist operations under STF in turbulent Kashmir during the peak of terrorism in early nineties, Airport Security duties at highly threatened Srinagar Airport, Anti-riot / Rescue relief operations with Rapid Action Force or Anti-Naxalite operations in Chhattisgarh and AOB regions, were also of similar character. In that sense, I think I have paid my dues to the nation and the society for the training I've got. Now that, at forty one, I have lost my prime youth and I know I can never get those years back, it’s now the right time to open up the next chapter in my life.
It was in the year 2005 that I started to realize that I couldn’t continue for long when my age and mind has changed to the stage where Iam not enjoying it anymore. And so I decided to hang my barrette up for good, once I would be eligible for pension since I‘ve got a family to take care of. Without that passion for it, I realized that this is no longer the job I enjoyed doing it in my youngster years. After much reflection and great deal of discussion with my family and my close friends, I have decided that it’s the right time to do it. After all, I'am a firm believer of the fact that, even though the bravery and heroism is everlasting, adventurousness and recklessness has got an expiration date.
A couple of weeks ago, when I made this decision public in my Face book account, few of my friends called me over telephone and asked me ; ‘Why?’ . May be many would think that at forty one, Iam not that aged to retire.
I hope they have got now, the answer to their question.
So, now that the day is so close, I wanted to do something to be my own, apt to myself and from my heart. Time with my family and friends has now become important for me than money and status. I always believed that money is not everything. And for that matter, even the status of being recognized in the society as a Group ‘A ‘Gazetted Police officer doesn’t matter much for me. Sometimes you need more than that. It’s hard to explain but Iam convinced that it’s the right decision. Now I would do a gradual transition by keeping things simple. I have to make sure that I should not poke my nose into unnecessary tensions and tasks. For the time being, nothing much will change for me except that I will only be getting less than half the salary I’m getting right now. I know it’s a huge burden but, with no distracting desires in my modest living, I think I can continue with what Iam intended to do. With the pension I would be getting, financially I will be just fine, if the almighty god doesn’t want it otherwise. But even if it happens, then again, I will anticipate it is for the better. With bare minimum material desires that adjust to my pensionable income, I think it would be enough to meet the basic needs of my family.
However, I have no plans to retire from life or from any other activities which I pursue all through these days. To retire means to be put out of use. But I don’t think I would be put out of use myself. Instead it would be a new found adventurous expedition without losing my sense of value and purpose. To live a life I want, without any one dictating the terms except the almighty. It would be a sort of liberating me from what I have no passion to do. In other words, I would “re-attire” myself for some other activities to ward off boredom and keep me busy. I will blog here some other day, the details of those activities which have interested me but were unable to pursue due to various other commitments.
I firmly believe that, in a world that is characterized by uncertainty, events in our life may unravel and unfold in ways we could never imagine. One single incident can easily jeopardize all our planning. But still there are a few things you can try to do and make it a part of your daily ritual, which needs no permission from anyone or any establishment.
Reading more about Gandhi nowadays, I have been thinking the effects that Gandhi’s life and his writings bring to our lives. To use Gandhian philosophy in our daily lives, even partially, is definitely the most difficult thing that one could ever attempt in his life as things have changed drastically since Gandhi’s time. His philosophy of Non-violence has no place in the social and political environment today. But even now, Iam sure his teaching about self-reliance and to control the situations with grace and character has much relevance in our society. Simple living and high thought can be still practiced today. No doubt, it brings in tremendous mental peace. I sincerely started thinking that I have to change the way I lived all through these years and will experiment with few Gandhian activities, for which I have given a name, “Gandhivities” to transform my life. My task would be to try adopting few of them, if not in totality.
Sooner or later, each of us will come to a point in our life when we understand that we are not unique. We are all just normal a person with no extra ordinary talents. Many of us will wonder how it is possible that we have raced with all those materials gains our entire life but at the end remained totally bankrupt mentally. Iam not going to talk about philosophy here or do I really have any idea about it.
My challenge now is to find a second career that will keep me engaged as well as help me to practice few "Gandhivities" which will enable me to lead a fulfilling life with a focus to help others in our society with whatever means. According to Gandhian scholar Dr. Anthony Parel, these are few Gandhian activities which one can do to be more like Gandhi.
1. To seek truth and harmony in all things through nonviolent means.
2. To follow one’s conscience in all things.
3. To earn a livelihood through honest labor.
4. To resist injustice through nonviolent means.
5. To build a more just and less violent society and polity through constructive program.
Dr. Anthony J. Parel is Professor Emeritus of Political Science at the University of Calgary.
Of course, to experience a fulfilling retirement life we have to plan and prepare accordingly. Someday I will write here in detail, how Iam going to live my ''re-attired'' life.
See you then....JAI-HIND......!
